Karcubgess is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, awesome tapir.

Karcubgess created carbon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Karcubgess, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Karcubgess, she will turn you into a puffin.

Karcubgess' most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Karcubgess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never wear fawn tights.

3. Always make sure there are no geese in a room before entering it.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.