Gessnatcitrak is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, boastful fly.

Gessnatcitrak created everything that exists four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gessnatcitrak, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gessnatcitrak, it will manifest in front of you.

Gessnatcitrak's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Gessnatcitrak's Holy Commandments

1. Always help ducks in need.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never talk about shrews.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate voles.