Mumteenbessyik is a god.

She takes the form of a small, amazing zebra.

Mumteenbessyik created a bottom quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mumteenbessyik, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Mumteenbessyik, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Mumteenbessyik's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Mumteenbessyik's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three bats approach from the west.

2. You must love Mumteenbessyik.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never eat grapes.

5. Do not shave your legs.