Tarbabtom is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, vain goblin.

Tarbabtom created an up quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarbabtom, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tarbabtom, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Tarbabtom's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Tarbabtom's Holy Commandments

1. Tarbabtom must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never wear yellow scarves.

5. Respect your elders.