Ratbodnell is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, uncaring chicken.

Ratbodnell created an up quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ratbodnell, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Ratbodnell, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Ratbodnell's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Ratbodnell's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine ants approach from the north.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

4. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

5. Pray towards the east.