Latqueegrak is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, impressive lobster.

Latqueegrak created the solar system three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Latqueegrak, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Latqueegrak, it will come to you in dreams.

Latqueegrak's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Latqueegrak's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never mention manatees.

3. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.