Flabhakpingep is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, confident wombat.

Flabhakpingep created carbon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Flabhakpingep, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Flabhakpingep, he will turn you into a sheep.

Flabhakpingep's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Flabhakpingep's Holy Commandments

1. Flabhakpingep loves eagles, so they must be respected.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never paint your head green.

4. Put Flabhakpingep first in all things.

5. Never hurt hamsters.