Pitcabstrag Ranhapdim is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, unthoughtful wolf.

Pitcabstrag Ranhapdim created energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitcabstrag Ranhapdim, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Pitcabstrag Ranhapdim, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Pitcabstrag Ranhapdim's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Pitcabstrag Ranhapdim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Run away if four manatees approach from the south.

4. Hide from orange cats for they are unholy.

5. Do not wear blue clothing.