Cidfatfum is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, stupid monkey.

Cidfatfum created a down quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Cidfatfum, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cidfatfum, it will not invite you to parties.

Cidfatfum's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Cidfatfum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

2. Goats are not to be trusted.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never wear blue stockings.