Nelmumarp is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, thoughtless alligator.

Nelmumarp created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Nelmumarp, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Nelmumarp, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Nelmumarp's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Nelmumarp's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Always help birds.

3. Always help pigs in need.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never think about black holes.