Gedhaswikfed Mistikarp Largponkem is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, almighty wyrm.

Gedhaswikfed Mistikarp Largponkem created the Milkyway two million years ago.

If you believe in Gedhaswikfed Mistikarp Largponkem, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gedhaswikfed Mistikarp Largponkem, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Gedhaswikfed Mistikarp Largponkem's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Gedhaswikfed Mistikarp Largponkem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Hide if five porpoises approach from the south.