Armzaklik is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, selfish mongoose.

Armzaklik created the Large Magellanic Cloud six million years ago.

If you believe in Armzaklik, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Armzaklik, he will think nothing of it.

Armzaklik's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Armzaklik's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in holy places.

2. Never talk about nebulae.

3. You must pray to Armzaklik seven times a day.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.