Larptarp is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, thoughtless squirrel.

Larptarp created Africa eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larptarp, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Larptarp, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Larptarp's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Larptarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill badgers.

2. Never run in the presence of capybaras.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Larptarp.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Larptarp.