Zedtapvig is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, self-confident bird.

Zedtapvig created the Small Magellanic Cloud four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedtapvig, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Zedtapvig, it will cry a lot.

Zedtapvig's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Zedtapvig's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Zedtapvig.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Foxes are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Zedtapvig loves voles, so they must be honoured.

5. You must pray to Zedtapvig nine times a day.