Arppaglargflagbellbutfaglen is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, quiet dolphin.

Arppaglargflagbellbutfaglen created Asia four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arppaglargflagbellbutfaglen, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Arppaglargflagbellbutfaglen, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Arppaglargflagbellbutfaglen's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Arppaglargflagbellbutfaglen's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never paint your legs turquoise.

5. Never feed lentils to ants while wearing mauve hats.