Gesstikdab is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, blissful fish.

Gesstikdab created life six million years ago.

If you believe in Gesstikdab, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gesstikdab, he will curse you with boils.

Gesstikdab's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Gesstikdab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt porpoises.

2. Always look after injured rats.

3. Run away from magenta monkeys, for they are unholy.

4. Do not shave your face.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.