Lidgembonk is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, calm spider.

Lidgembonk created the planet Mars five million years ago.

If you believe in Lidgembonk, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Lidgembonk, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Lidgembonk's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Lidgembonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never bounce near whales.

3. Lidgembonk loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.