Yamjenmab is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, all-knowing clam.

Yamjenmab created the Milkyway five million years ago.

If you believe in Yamjenmab, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yamjenmab, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Yamjenmab's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Yamjenmab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear carbon on your body.

2. Never eat bread.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Run away from yellow goats, for they are unholy.