Jad is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, quiet gorilla.

Jad created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jad, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Jad, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Jad's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Jad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jad.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.

4. Never eat cucumbers.

5. Always make sure there are no seals in a room before entering it.