Nadhongar Dunontfig is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, blissful seal.

Nadhongar Dunontfig created life twelve years ago.

If you believe in Nadhongar Dunontfig, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Nadhongar Dunontfig, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Nadhongar Dunontfig's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Nadhongar Dunontfig's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Feed all hungry aardvarks.

3. Seals are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not wear black clothing.