Gubtafrutvon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, merciful yak.

Gubtafrutvon created carbon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gubtafrutvon, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gubtafrutvon, she will try to impress you with trees.

Gubtafrutvon's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Gubtafrutvon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never look at galaxies.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Snails are not to be trusted.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gubtafrutvon.