Saknatmum is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, grumpy goblin.

Saknatmum created the planet Mars nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Saknatmum, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Saknatmum, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Saknatmum's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Saknatmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Saknatmum must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not take Saknatmum's name in vain.