Quamwaplig Zogarmbem is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, unsympathetic frog.

Quamwaplig Zogarmbem created time and space nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Quamwaplig Zogarmbem, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Quamwaplig Zogarmbem, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Quamwaplig Zogarmbem's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Quamwaplig Zogarmbem's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Erect a large copper sculpture of Quamwaplig Zogarmbem on top of all buildings.