Rilnadarfcipjappitnill is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, grumpy monkey.

Rilnadarfcipjappitnill created the Small Magellanic Cloud four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rilnadarfcipjappitnill, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Rilnadarfcipjappitnill, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Rilnadarfcipjappitnill's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Rilnadarfcipjappitnill's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shorts.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always obey Rilnadarfcipjappitnill's priests.

4. Never wear orange shirts.

5. Always wear black.