Getdimwap is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, proud narwhal.

Getdimwap created a charm quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Getdimwap, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Getdimwap, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Getdimwap's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Getdimwap's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Hide if seven grasshopers approach from the east.

4. Getdimwap must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.