Flamlatbogstaf is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, selfish salamander.

Flamlatbogstaf created the world four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamlatbogstaf, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Flamlatbogstaf, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Flamlatbogstaf's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Flamlatbogstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never wear skirts.

3. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Always look after injured horses.

5. Always make sure there are no snakes in a building before entering it.