Minced is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, unthinking monkey.

Minced created the planet Saturn four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Minced, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Minced, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Minced's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Minced's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. You must never eat pineapples.

3. Always obey Minced's priests.

4. Erect five iron sculptures of Minced on top of important buildings.

5. Never hurt otters.