Mumlarppog is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, boastful ferret.

Mumlarppog created the world seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Mumlarppog, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Mumlarppog, it will make you grow a tail.

Mumlarppog's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Mumlarppog's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Mumlarppog's priests.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Mumlarppog.

3. Do not kill hamsters.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never feed lemons to sheep while wearing green tights.