Mapdosscuss is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, humane human.

Mapdosscuss created bats three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mapdosscuss, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Mapdosscuss, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Mapdosscuss' most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Mapdosscuss' Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Mapdosscuss.

2. Feed all hungry badgers.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. You must pray to Mapdosscuss eight times a day.