Zimhimquart is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, sapient turtle.

Zimhimquart created dark energy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimhimquart, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Zimhimquart, she will turn you into a rat.

Zimhimquart's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Zimhimquart's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not dye your hair violet.

4. Never hurt grasshopers.

5. Run away from fawn whales, for they are unholy.