Ladbegpidtikdimpag is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, staggering wasp.

Ladbegpidtikdimpag created gold eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ladbegpidtikdimpag, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ladbegpidtikdimpag, she will turn you into a worm.

Ladbegpidtikdimpag's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Ladbegpidtikdimpag's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear red.

2. Never eat wheat.

3. You must love Ladbegpidtikdimpag.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.