Tailontnart is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unthoughtful hippopotamus.

Tailontnart created the universe two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tailontnart, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tailontnart, he will strike you with lightening.

Tailontnart's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Tailontnart's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at planets.

2. Tailontnart must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Retreat if six moths approach from the south.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never talk about gulls.