Pangcen is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, contented gnu.

Pangcen created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pangcen, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Pangcen, he will torture you forever.

Pangcen's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Pangcen's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Pangcen.

5. Respect your elders.