Tanpadzimxemlegmilnibfut is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, temperamental hare.

Tanpadzimxemlegmilnibfut created humankind three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tanpadzimxemlegmilnibfut, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tanpadzimxemlegmilnibfut, he will boil you in a big pot.

Tanpadzimxemlegmilnibfut's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Tanpadzimxemlegmilnibfut's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never feed peanuts to squirrels while wearing purple corsets.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not speak about oranges.