Kimlogsugratsas is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, idiotic gnu.

Kimlogsugratsas created a strange quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kimlogsugratsas, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kimlogsugratsas, he will turn you into a dog.

Kimlogsugratsas' most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Kimlogsugratsas' Holy Commandments

1. Never mention manatees.

2. Never paint your hands turquoise.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not stand on grass.