Goftif is a god.

It takes the form of a small, impressive gnu.

Goftif created viruses five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Goftif, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Goftif, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Goftif's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Goftif's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never think about stars.

3. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Fast once a month.