Tarpbessjanhitbastrot is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, merciful wasp.

Tarpbessjanhitbastrot created water five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpbessjanhitbastrot, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tarpbessjanhitbastrot, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Tarpbessjanhitbastrot's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Tarpbessjanhitbastrot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silver on your body.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tarpbessjanhitbastrot.

3. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Always obey Tarpbessjanhitbastrot's priests.

5. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.