Lakabwee is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, vain salamander.

Lakabwee created dark matter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lakabwee, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Lakabwee, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Lakabwee's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Lakabwee's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not hurt sharks.

3. Always help mice in need.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Respect your elders.