Hunyattar is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, witty tortoise.

Hunyattar created the Sun eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hunyattar, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Hunyattar, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Hunyattar's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Hunyattar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Put Hunyattar first in all things.

4. Do not wear cyan clothing.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.