Tikhig is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, annoying centipede.

Tikhig created an up quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tikhig, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tikhig, it will boil you in a big pot.

Tikhig's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Tikhig's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tikhig.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Tikhig loves geese, so they must be honoured.