Bigpaksat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, unfair owl.

Bigpaksat created vertebrates two million years ago.

If you believe in Bigpaksat, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bigpaksat, he will curse you with boils.

Bigpaksat's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Bigpaksat's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed figs to geese while wearing red trousers.

2. Do not dye your hair pink.

3. Never write about amino acids.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Put Bigpaksat first in all things.