Gessgodflap is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, confident skunk.

Gessgodflap created humankind six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gessgodflap, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gessgodflap, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Gessgodflap's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Gessgodflap's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gessgodflap.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Run away if three monkeys approach from the north.

5. Always treat badgers with great respect.