Wonflatpom is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, calm bat.

Wonflatpom created dark matter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wonflatpom, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Wonflatpom, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Wonflatpom's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Wonflatpom's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention gulls.

2. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

5. Never eat green fruit.