Rakfabxuckvogomtbaf is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, astonishing horse.

Rakfabxuckvogomtbaf created gold five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rakfabxuckvogomtbaf, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Rakfabxuckvogomtbaf, she will turn you into a rat.

Rakfabxuckvogomtbaf's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Rakfabxuckvogomtbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your feet.

2. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Rakfabxuckvogomtbaf on top of all buildings.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Hide from fawn eagles for they are unholy.

5. Never eat beans.