Dapbessyim is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, bad-tempered bird.

Dapbessyim created Asia six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dapbessyim, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dapbessyim, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Dapbessyim's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Dapbessyim's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry mites.

2. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate monkeys.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.