Hakflagcem is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, humorless coyote.

Hakflagcem created the world three million years ago.

If you believe in Hakflagcem, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Hakflagcem, he will come to you in dreams.

Hakflagcem's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Hakflagcem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

2. Always treat ants with great respect.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. You must never eat melons.