Basscampom is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, benevolent spider.

Basscampom created water seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Basscampom, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Basscampom, she will remove you from existence.

Basscampom's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Basscampom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not bounce in public.

3. Capybaras are not to be trusted.

4. Put Basscampom first in all things.

5. Do not speak about nuts.