Pigveenmat is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, impressive crocodile.

Pigveenmat created the Sun four billion years ago.

If you believe in Pigveenmat, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Pigveenmat, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Pigveenmat's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Pigveenmat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never sing near rats.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Always help sick cats.