Danortkip is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, humane squid.

Danortkip created the solar system four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Danortkip, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Danortkip, he will turn you into a hamster.

Danortkip's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Danortkip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not skip in public.

2. Always make sure there are no birds in a building before entering it.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Danortkip.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.