Fagceppak is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, unthoughtful centipede.

Fagceppak created viruses seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fagceppak, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fagceppak, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Fagceppak's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Fagceppak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Hide if seven dogs approach from the east.

3. You must love Fagceppak.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not trade with those who eat beans.
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